Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Nothing to wear. Ever!

I did an impromptu and utterly pointless clothes shop at the end of yesterday's Big Writing Episode. Sadly all my outing did was remind me of those things that a woman of a certain age and small stature and a D cup should ALWAYS avoid.

1 Batwing sleeves. My god they're hideous. Honestly, they make me want to self-harm.
2 Cardigans with ruffles. Look fabulous on some women, but make me look like the mother of the bride.
3 Ditto blouses with ruffles. The mother of the bride ringing a school bell.
4 Turtle necks. I shudder just to glance at them . They make me look like something out of a Russ Meyer film (and I don't mean that in a nice, Nigella, 'oh my god you're so Curvaceous and Sexy' way.
5 Those Roman sandal thingys that are all the rage now. I wore them under sufferance in the 80s. I will not go back there.

All I wanted was a frock like the one in the picture. Is that too much to ask? 
 I wish I'd tried harder in Form Four Needlecraft. xx

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  1. Ha! ha! This is one post I can really relate to, although I couldn't wear the dress in this picture - I shy away from anything that reveals my upper arms.

  2. I hear ya I hear ya.... the sad thing is despite the hideousness of batwings they make me look better than without them how depressing is that?
    2,3,4 and 5 make me resemble Margaret Rutherford in Miss Marple. It just adds up to a bad experience which usually requires a coffee and cake to remedy the bad taste one is left with in ones mouth. I swear those designers are not hitting the streets enough for research because the way I see it the streets are running over with D cups and nothing is more annoying than being cashed up to buy and you come home without taking your purse out of your bag. Makes me want coffee and cake just thinking about it. Roman sandals....bleghhh!

  3. I reckon we're about the same size, Jen (same hair, too!). Try this brand: www.lazybones.com.au for a fantastic vintage-style organic cotton dress. I bought the Holiday print Alice dress from the Best St Store in North Fitzroy and I just love it! It's been my favourite party dress for this summer. No need to take out the needles quite yet!

  4. You should try Circa on Gertrude St, they often have lovely frocks, and the staff are delightful. Batwings and boobs are a fatal combination.

  5. It is so lovely to know I am not alone! Thank you for your advice and comments. Sally and Piroska, I shall top up my coin purse and rally! xx


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