Sunday, 19 June 2011

you, sir, are not a chair

There are some inventions that simply cannot be improved upon, dear reader. Take the knife and fork for instance. Whether it's HRH Silver Service or brummy old op shop stuff with bone handles yellowed with age and too many dips in the kitchen sink, the knife and fork WORK. Tin cans. Simple. Effective. Cylindrical. (Except when they're not). Matches. One never buys a box of Redheads only to get home and discover that one does not know How To Work Them. Yes, dear reader, some things do not need to be fiddled with. Which leads me to chairs. Personally, I like mine with legs. And a back. I don't care how many legs or how shabby the back. I can even cope with a pinchy seat. Even when a chair mutates into a beanbag, Ha! I can deal with that. But a Cube? A nasty little wooden box that looks like it's been knocked together by a Year Seven woodwork student? These are NOT chairs and I will NOT sit on them. I don't care how Now and Happening and Hip-Hop the cafe is, if it has those pretentious little cubes posing as chairs I will not go in.

I will not pay to sit on a balsa wood box.

Here endeth the rant. xx
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